


Driven Crazy

by Daegaer



Category: Weiß Kreuz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-09-19
Updated: 2004-09-19
Packaged: 2017-10-23 03:52:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/246010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nagi gets a driving lesson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Driven Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, Cygny, for beta-reading!

  
"That'll be all," Takatori said, turning his back and dismissing them from thought.

"Mr Takatori," Crawford murmured politely, inclining his head then giving the signal to leave.

 _That man's a fool,_ Schuldig sent to them all as they stood in the lift. _He should make better use of us; he treats us like we're just for show._

Nagi looked at him cautiously. Suppose Takatori had other telepaths around listening in? Schuldig made a rude noise and rolled his eyes.

 _From his point of view, we_ are _for show,_ Crawford's voice echoed in Nagi's mind. _We're his tame Western freaks._

 _He's disappointed with you, Nagi,_ Schuldig went on, _he thinks Estet should have sent him a European telekinetic. You're not exotic enough._

"Huh," Nagi said, disgusted.

There being general agreement on their assessment of their employer, the silent conversation turned to food and television until Schuldig got bored.

 _What am I, a telephone exchange?_ "You're on your own, guys."

"It's early," Crawford said as they walked towards the car. "Everyone can have the rest of the evening off."

"Oh, _thank_ you, Herr Crawford," Schuldig said in a cheerfully sarcastic sing-song voice. "You're so _good_ to us, Herr Crawford."

Nagi flicked a glance between them, and saw the smirk answered by Crawford's thin smile. He relaxed. They weren't fighting. It was OK, he didn't have to worry every time they were rude to each other. It was just their way, he told himself. It wasn't the same as being disrespectful to his instructors.

"Do you know how to drive?" Crawford said to him.

"No," Nagi said. None of his instructors had thought he'd need that kind of skill.

"You never know when it could come in useful," Crawford said and tossed him the keys. "Get in the driver's seat."

"Are we going to make it back alive?" Schuldig said, clambering into the back.

"The outlook is favourable," Crawford said, and Nagi allowed himself to smile.

"You could pray," Farfarello said to Schuldig.

"Not while I'm sitting beside you. Come on, Nagi, it's just a fucking car, let's go."

Nagi jumped into the driver's seat and turned the key in the ignition, stamping down on the accelerator. The car made an unfortunate noise and didn't go anywhere.

"Handbrake," Crawford said.

Nagi ignored the sniggers from the back, and tried again. A short time later they were driving, very slowly, up the ramp from the car park. They had only stalled three times, so Nagi didn't see what the audience in the back was complaining about. He inched his way up the ramp and swallowed hard at the sight of traffic. This was going to be difficult, he thought. Maybe he should try to move the other cars out of his way. He crept forward a little and saw an opening. He started forward; beside him, Crawford snapped his seatbelt shut. A motorcycle swerved round a van and shot past their car, barely missing them. Nagi slammed on the brakes and banged his head on the steering wheel as Schuldig hit hard against the back of his seat. The car stalled. Crawford favoured them all with a smirk.

"Perhaps you'd all like to put on your seatbelts?"

A few moments later they were inching their way out into traffic. Nagi held the wheel in a white-knuckled grip and felt sure he was going to kill everyone. He was going too fast, too fast.

"You're doing a blinding 30kph, you speed freak."

 _Shut up,_ Nagi thought viciously and then realised he'd just mentally insulted a telepath.

Schuldig laughed behind him. The car stalled. Taking a deep breath, Nagi ignored the honking horns and carefully got the engine going again.

"It's all right, take your time," Crawford said as they crept away.

A driver slowed down beside them to make his views on Nagi's driving clear, but pulled away again fast once Farfarello gave him his full attention. Following instructions he turned onto a much quieter road, and felt a lot better.

"Let's try taking it into third gear now," Crawford said easily. "Accelerate gently."

"Do you think he'll make the kid pay for getting the gear box fixed?" Farfarello said in a stage whisper to Schuldig.

Nagi gritted his teeth and changed gears. The engine didn't sound so annoyed after that. He sped all the way up to 40kph. It felt very nice, and he began to think there was nothing to driving at all. As long as everyone stayed quiet and let him concentrate, he thought he could get them back to the apartment easily enough. He signalled right. Then he turned off the windscreen wipers, and signalled right. Crawford leaned across and flipped the indicator so he was signalling left.

"Isn't that the quickest way?" Nagi said.

"If you're walking. It's a one-way street, Nagi. Did you think I always went the other way out of perversity?"

"Does Crawford do anything out of perversity?" Farfarello said, looking at Schuldig with innocent bemusement.

"Well, there was the –," Schuldig trailed off, giving him a meaningful look.

Nagi peered at them in the mirror as they smirked and wished that just once people would say the interesting stuff out loud. He turned onto another street and found himself in traffic that was heavy, but moving fairly fast. Crap.

"You're doing fine, but try to go a little faster," Crawford said as Nagi slowed down to 25kph.

"We should have got out and walked," Schuldig said. "This is boring."

"Should I pull in?" Nagi said, as politely as he could. "I don't know if I can make it go much faster than this."

"Just drive."

A moment later Crawford sighed, and braced his arms on the dashboard. "That was the turn we should have taken."

"It was? Where?" Nagi said, and braked.

The car behind honked and swerved round them. Nagi flinched and then tried to go on. The car stalled. After four tries, he got the engine going again and tried to go. The car jerked along, and stalled.

"First gear," Crawford said.

They got under way again, Nagi's heart beating fast and his face burning as the drivers overtaking yelled at him or shook their fists. He thought angrily of flipping their damned cars over, let them yell at him _then_. The car in front suddenly moved erratically, and Nagi carefully lowered its back wheels down onto the road again before anyone else noticed. The traffic got heavier and the horns more insistent so he took a deep breath and accelerated just a little. Everything was fine.

 _Man, look at that girl's legs._

 _Stop it,_ Nagi thought.

 _No, seriously, just_ look _at them. C'mon, baby, bend over – aww, yeah._

"Stop it," Nagi muttered.

"What was that?" Crawford said.

"Nothing," Nagi said, glaring into the rear view mirror. "Nothing." Schuldig's face was composed and calm, and he was laughing like a drain in Nagi's mind. He winked, and Nagi wished he was pyrokinetic, just for a few seconds, that was all he wanted.

"Nagi!" Crawford yelled.

He saw he was drifting over into another lane, and swung the wheel too hard back the other way. Cars all around honked furiously as Crawford put a hand on the wheel to correct him.

"We're going to turn up here," Crawford said, "get in the right hand lane."

"Your _other_ right," Schuldig said as Nagi found himself in the left lane instead.

Farfarello had started muttering in English, and it sounded religious. Nagi's skin crawled and he kept checking in the mirror to see if the knives had been produced yet. The other drivers wouldn't let him back to the lane he wanted, and he felt ill and shaky. Schuldig was looking more and more irritated and bored.

"You can take over if you want to get back so quickly," Nagi said, finding it strange that he could still sound calm. The needles on the dials in front of him were jumping round furiously and the engine revved loudly even when he eased his foot on the accelerator.

"No, no, keep going."

 _Shit. Did you ever see anyone as touchy as this guy, Farfarello?_

 _Leave him alone. You can't expect a little kid to keep his cool all the time._

"Shut up," Nagi muttered. If Schuldig was going to start broadcasting everyone's commentary on his driving he'd scream.

"Didn't quite catch that," Schuldig said sweetly. In the mirror, Nagi saw him roll his eyes at Farfarello.

"Shut up," Nagi said, louder. He took his foot right off the accelerator and the engine continued revving. "I'm doing my best." The car stalled. "Fuck!"

"Back into first," Crawford said in resignation, and Nagi thought about killing him where he sat.

Schuldig started sniggering as the horns started up again.

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up! All of you! Just shut the fuck up!" Nagi yelled. The headlights on the cars nearest them shattered. Schuldig and Farfarello were both laughing hard now. "What the fuck's so funny?" Nagi said.

"I knew we could get you to swear at us, with a little encouragement," Schuldig crowed.

"You've been hassling me all the way just to stress me out and get me to _swear_ at you?" Nagi said. "You bastards!"

"Crawford thought the rush-hour driving lesson would be enough," Farfarello said, "we were just helping you along."

"Ah, _fuck_ ," Nagi said, glaring at Crawford.

"I already knew the outcome," Crawford said, "but some people wanted to see it first hand. We really should get out of these people's way. Back into first."

"Fuck," Nagi muttered, and turned the key. Schuldig and Farfarello jumped out. Just as well, he thought, seeing as he wanted to make the seat belts strangle them.

"See you whenever," Schuldig grinned, and was gone.

Nagi drove slowly along, pointedly not looking at Crawford.

"It's all right to relax round us," Crawford said, just after Nagi had decided he wouldn't kill everyone after all. "No one's going to report you for insubordination towards a superior. You don't have to be the perfect student for us."

 _Fuck you, too_ , Nagi thought, now that there was no telepath in the car. Not that that mattered, he thought, if he couldn't keep his thoughts off his face. Crawford smirked at his expression.

"Do you want a real driving lesson tomorrow?"

A range of answers came to mind. He didn't say any of them. Instead he told himself that they pulled this sort of shit on each other all the time, and he was just getting the worst of it for being a new target. All it meant was that they'd accepted him, that he was part of the team. He gave Crawford his best shyly polite smile and let it grow into his real unpleasant grin.

"Fuck, yeah," he said, "I do."

  


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End file.
